Just Chill!!!

I am writing this post at a time when things around me are not at all certain. I even came to know that I hate Uncertainity:). SO I guess its double blow. Its at this time, seeing the fog ahead of me, that its easy to forget that I have come quite a distance, did quite a few things.

As a Kid, I loved seeing Maps and Globe. World for me is a big place and I knew that I wanted to see most of it. I dont know if its my confidence or my arrogance but I was always confident, baring few spells of madness, that I would one day see many places far far away from my sweet home. I guess I could say now that I did see quite a few places albeit in a small part of the world.

The highlight of my stay here is the Live match I saw in Old trafford. I was very very excited to see the match and I enjoyed like hell when seeing it. But Its still difficult for me to come up with words to describe the experience. The real feeling will sink in when I am back in India and I see a Manutd match sitting in a sofa in India. I guess that feeling can wait:)

I never considered myself a people-friendly guy but as days go-by, the most I miss in my life is people. I miss my family, my friends and many many other people. But interestingly I am meeting new friends, friends with whom I can spend hours talking with out getting bored. But yeah!!! you quickly realize that good friends are jewels and they are rightly hard to find and you obviously miss them.

Coming back to the uncertainity around me, I can feel the chillness inside me. The coooooool weather in London means that I feel the chillness more than ever. But looking back at the distance I have covered in this short time, I can only say to me Just Chill !!!

Chaithu in Chester , UK

Here I am, in this Beautiful world, Here I am...

People would consider me a big idiot if I don't say UK is beautiful. Just look at the pictures I took, you will know why. Of course the photos were taken by me. But people who know my skills behind a camera will vouch that the photos look good inspite of me not because of me:(:(:(

Coming to UK. UK is cool and calm. The first thing I notice about the place is the amazing roads, cars and the systematic way in which people live here. I would be telling a lie if I say I wasn't bowled over initially. Its winter and when it gets cold here, its really really cold. Its so calm that people will hear you even if you are talking to yourself. The day here ends at 6:00. Expect no shops after that except Tesco and other biggies. You will find most of the roads deserted after 7. People here are also very very particular about mannerisms, I don't know if its because of their generosity or their colonial past.

After a few weeks here, UK for me crawls. Life here is so systematic that people like me who come from India really wonder whats going on. I am already missing the noise and life of India. But as long as I earn in Pounds, I will not mind :).

Expect oldies in Work place. The younger ones here are in their 30's. With no disrespect to elders, I come from a place where I was surrounded by people of my age, people who were always looking for an opportunity to overtake me. In here forget about over takings, you are supposed to hold the door for the people coming behind you. I guess even I am doing it, I hope it does not slow me down. But buddies, you will seriously not mind some of the 30's you see around you. Trust me on this. Period.

The one "Ooh la la... " thing I love about UK is football. Its the country of Manchester United. Soon I am going for a stadium tour of Manchester United. I will be in Dressing rooms, Dugouts etc etc :):):) Hold your breath!! I am going to watch Manchester United vs Middlesbrough Live on 27 October and I am going to be seated Front ROW!!!!. I may not have the best viewing angle but watching Manchester United so close and that too from front row satisifies one of my long cherished dreams. Will come up with more pictures in the coming weeks.

Tryst with Destiny???

All these days I knew that BSchool Application process will be very tricky but the more I immerse myself into applications, the more I realize that its more tricky than I ever imagined it to be.

First of all, this whole process needs you to evaluate your priorities, re-examine what you have done in your life until this point ( For some people like me, there wont be much ) and what you want to do after MBA and why do you feel you can do it. Actually there are much complex questions out there but if one has good concrete answers for all these so-called easy questions, I think that’s half battle won.

SO why am I finding it so difficult to answer these easy questions?? For a start, I think these are not easy questions, at least for me. As I try to answer these questions, as I examine my priorities, I sometimes wonder whether MBA will be right for me, whether I will get what I want in my life after an MBA and so many trivial doubts that I wonder if I am the same guy who has been planning for his MBA for close to 2 years now. Even If one musters to write something that satisfies him, there is a small matter of convincing the Adcom with his answers. Because what looks great to you, on paper, may look ordinary or silly to the Adcom, who see thousands of similar essays. Its very important to critique your answers and not to fall into the trap thinking you have written great essays because "Every Mother things her child is the most beautiful ".

On top of all this, there is this small matter of competition. A US MBA is already competitive but India's phenomenal growth means that the number of Indian applicants is increasing every day and the profiles & experiences they carry are also becoming more & more impressive. Of course I have no right to comment on this as today I am thinking of an MBA because such a type of thinking is possible only today.

So the more I get involved in the application process, the more I realize that I am an Underdog. So is it time to pack off. Naa..... I have this classic Underdog mentality and as some one has said "I never expect to lose. Even when I'm the underdog, I still prepare a victory speech.” Of course I see the result of all this, the result that will bring me Joy beyond bounds, the result that will make sure that I have my Tryst with Destiny!!!

Obsession with Self

I live in a world filled with obsession, obsession with self.

I live in a world where every day & every thing starts with I and every day & every thing ends with me.

I live in a world which has produced many great people, whose sacrifices/ acts are unfortunately limited to books of history and whose sacrifices/ acts are unfortunately looked at as an exception rather than deeds to be followed.

I live in a world where every good action, which is not obsessed with self, is looked at as an action used to promote some hideous desire or purpose and that a good action is just meant to act as an decoy hiding some secondary purpose associated with it.

I unfortunately live in a world where I am supposed to feel me, enjoy me, pamper me ....... and think only about me because any other thing I do is supposedly not me.

A Day to remember

Jul 9, 2007 is a Day to remember and I will surely remember it as long as I can :D

My success with a standardized test is well documented. But whats not documented is the fact that I had lot of things going for me. First of all, I was wished by so many people before I wrote the test. So many of my friends who are far far away remembered the day and wished me well. Good wishes bring a lot of energy with them. On the morning of the exam, I got to know( I should have known ) that it was the birthday of a special friend and yeah this news brought with it, its own share of Feel Good factor and then my roomies, what could I say about them, they are the best and they really did not need to do anything other than what they were doing to make me feel good. So I had many things going for me but then there were other important events that took place on the day that make it so wonderful.

My roomie, Uday who got into Gatech got his F1 Visa. Though there is little sadness that one guy with whom I have become close of late is leaving, I am ecstatic to see some one living my dream, well my old dream. Off late, my dreams have changed. So what was my dream, I dreamed of studying computer science in a Top university and there are few better ones than Gatech in the whole world!!!. Of course I keep wondering how my dreams have changed but then they do. Right now I am celebrating my dear friend Uday's entry into Gatech and I hope and I am sure he will fulfill all his dreams in the Land of Opportunities.

My other roomie, SHIP, well his real name is charan, cleared his orals. He is a marine engineer who traveled lot of places, something many people will die for. But marine engineers have this stupid promotion exams where in they have to clear exams and orals to get promoted. The only difficult thing about the orals is that it depends on the whims & fancies of some person, who only decides to pass a person if he is in a good mood. Of course all orals are like this especially when they are not monitored well. I am more happy for SHIP because he is this crazy guy who really gets emotional & worried about his future. So seeing him enjoy like the way he does without any tension was cool, really cool.

When things go well, You want them to go well and I am no exception. I hope I have many such days to remember and I am positive that I will have many such days.

Life after GMAT

With GMAT finally done, I can sense a feeling of confidence gripping me.

Long before I started preparing for the GMAT, I knew that GMAT was just a part of a application process and that I need many other things going for me to get into my Dream school. But there was this constant fear in me regarding my chances of getting admit in a top BSchool. With a good GMAT score, there is a slight mindset change where in, I am my concentrating more on other important aspects of my application and I know I need to concentrate and work more on them to get them right.

There are so many things I need to plan and there are so many things that I want to blog. But then there is this GMAT hang over thats preventing me from expressing myself. So for a start, I will stop writing about GMAT in my blog. I guess I have already given way too-much importance to this test and its high time, I stop thinking about a standardized test.

Done with GMAT!!!

I have completed my GMAT and must say, got a pretty good score.


Score: 750 [ 49(Q), 42(V) ]

The Day before the exam, contrary to all my plans, I studied a lot. By the end of the day I was tired and I also had a little headache. Anyway I was confident that I had planned & prepared excellently for the exam and that I should do well. I was expecing a minimum of 720.

All though I managed to stay on bed until 8, I didnot get a proper sleep. Got up, took a bath, went to temple, had a big breakfast( Murugan Idli is really good ). Did little shopping ( Yeah Shopping!!!) 1 Soy Milk, 1 Cold Coffee, 1 Sneaker and 2 bananas. I planned to have Soy Milk after my AWA and COld Coffee before my Verbal and Bananas incase I ever felt hungry. Just before I left home, I quickly read Hindu editorial and felt good seeing my comprehension. Feel good factor is very important.

Kept all my belongings and reached exam by 11:30( My Exam was scheduled for 1:15). As I expected, I was asked if I was ready to take exam and there I was about to write GMAT again.

AWA:- AWA was pretty simple, it generally is, and I followed a template approach, Wrote it in 20 mins, added few examples here n there in the next 5 minutes and reviewed for grammar mistakes in next 5 minutes. I followed the same routine for Issue & argument. Expecting a good score ---Touch wood.

At the end of 1 hour, I was full of energy, managed to activate all my brain cells and was ready to take on the Real stuff. drank soy milk.

Quant:-Quant was good, The difficult part with Quant is, its easy but not as easy as is given in all the materials. This can throw many people off guard. I was expecting fairly simple questions and I guess I managed to answer all my first 20 questions right. 21st question was a probability question that was just too difficult, I guessed and it and I was wrong, Got an easy 22nd question. I performed fairly well after that but due to some illogical reasons could not answer the last question even though I knew the answer. I dont know whether it effected my Quant score.

Not discounting the last question, I was happy with my performance. Drank a cold coffee [ As I read in one of my RC passages that Coffee has ingredients that will artifically activate Brain's cells ]

Verbal:-This was it, I knew all along that it was my verbal score that will decide my fate and I was fairly confident on scoring around 40. Started in a good way, got a double bolded CR in 11th question, Which is usually a indication that I was performing well. Managed my time well. I got a really really difficult RC in Question Number 32-36. In generaly I would have struggled in such an RC but I guess on G-Day, after few nervous moments, I attacked it well and answered it well.

Was confident but really really nervous after the exam. I was so cool during exam but once I was done with it, I was too nervous to answer the survey, somehow managed to complete it and before I was to see the score, I was asked if I wanted to Report scores or Cancel them. Though I thought about it for a second, good sense prevailed, I decided to report scores and finally when I saw the score, I was Enthralled. To be frank I was more relaxed than enthralled. I Finally proved to me that I could do it and I badly needed this dose of confidence before the application process.

I wanna be Forrest

The other day I was reading a blog titled "Run Forrest Run", this made me remember Forrest Gump, my favourite movie. Considering my situation right now, being in a continuous state of confusion, I began analyzing Forrest Gump in a way I have never done before [ Mind you, I have analysed him a lot ]. Seeing Forrest do amazingly funny things and seeing him achieve stardom in what ever he was doing was really funny. For me, he was an innocent guy who went about doing what ever he liked, who got really lucky and who was also one who did not even realize that he got lucky.

Forrest had a beautiful girl friend who told him to run, I don't have one nor do I intend to have one anytime soon. But I want my life to tell me to run, Run Chaithu Run!!! When Forrest decided to run, he began running with out giving a care to the world around him, He did not even realize that he had become a cult figure and that he was tracked by one n all. Even I wanna do things with out thinking about what other person thinks.

Forrest was awarded for bravery in war, he became a world champion in Table Tennis, he became a business tycoon and he remained that same old innocent "boy". How can some one just think, like I did, that he was just lucky? He was not and he cannot. He followed his heart and earnestly followed it with out questioning [With out wasting his time; take it as a case study of productivity, productivity of life ]. Now I wanna succeed in my life, for a change I wanna acknowledge my success too.


Ok, Where did Forrest get it right and where did, I and I am sure many people like me, got it wrong [I still have time to get it right though]


Maybe as I grew, I in my attempt to learn anything n everything, I learned so much about things around me that I inevitably polluted my mind. May be I should not think that "For every action there is an equal & opposite reaction", May be I should not have learnt it because from the time I learnt it, I have been inevitably thinking of the Opposite reaction rather than concentrating on action but is it correct to stop someone from leaning Newton's Laws of motion. As a science lover, I will say No.

Considering the fact that we can never have as pure a brain as Forrest had, the only the road ahead is to improve, to have a constant urge to improve, to never sit on laurels. Finally, Please don't judge ur improvement through others eyes. If Forrest had seen world through others eyes, there would not have been a Forrest Gump and I would not have even written this post.

Finally I could see myself sitting on a bench near the bus stop and keep telling something or other about my thoughts to everyone thru my blog until I catch my bus. The chances r u will get bored.

PS:- For People Who Don't know about Forrest Gump, You can see him in a movie titled Forrest Gump. You can get his DVD/CD from any good movie retailer. After watching the movie, try reading this post again, U may get something from it [ WARNING: TRYING TO GET LOGIC FROM MY POSTS IS AS DIFFICULT AS IT GETS ]

Having Fun

Off late, I have been having lot of fun.

First & foremost, I got Fifa07 installed in my roomies PC and spent one full day and one or two evenings trying to get a hold of it. I was a die-hard FIFA player until fifa 2004, after that slowing PC & Work kept me away from it for a long time. I guess my passion for it has still not gone. The game is great though; it's much more realistic and much more challenging.

But things have not been great even here; Playing FIFA07 made me realise that I am no longer playing it as well as I used to; I guess I played for only one day though. Of course my joy stick keeps giving me problems and my roomies PC though adequate is not a perfect machine to play. I think I should buy a lethal laptop (Not only for games, it will be useful as a personal computer:) ) and probably an XBOX joystick to go with it. I have never been a fan of Game stations aka XBOX, PS3. May be its time for them. The only thing that's stopping me right now from going full throttle is my career. Once I get it on track, one will see more of me in games.

I have been playing Cricket 2007 also, it's a pretty easy game though. It's good for fun and I guess I had enough of cricket especially after seeing India's performance in World Cup.

Have not seen many movies recently; I did see spiderman-3 and two ridiculous Telugu movies. Spiderman-3 was boring, it was either a slow drama or a Super fast game, there was very little enjoyment in it, the second half comedy involving Tobey Maguire is funny though; Of course I told every one that I loved it as I could not imagine my roomie, who is a big batman fan, having a laugh at me. I have many to-see movies in my list: Metro, Pirates, Shrek, Jhoom Barabar Jhoom & finally Harry Potter. Now did any one say that they have not seen many movies recently? Well, I dont know.

From being some one who didn't notice girls around me, now I am seeing lot of girls ( purely seeing ). I guess "inspiring friends" around me in my office have inspired me enough to change my habits. I guess India is a beautiful country and there are many many girls around us who are beautiful and Beauty is something that should be appreciated and enjoyed and understood as a creation of God.

Finally I think having fun is funny as long as it's not affecting ur goals and ur efforts. Enjoy!!!

My Holy Grail

Good things happen. One such good thing was I deciding to go to tirumala. It was a decision which took long time to happen but when it happened, it was worth it.

My decision was so sudden that I didn’t get enough time to even find a partner. So I started alone on my small journey from Chennai - Tirumala. My train from Chennai to Tirupathi was fast & pleasant. I had a good sleep. My mind was pre-occupied with seeing God and to see if I truly believed in God. It was not at all ready to experience what it did. As someone who has climbed the seven hills more than once in the past, I was looking forward to climb once again. What I didn’t realize was that I was alone this time around and that this was going to be really different. I started off like a foreigner taking photos of fellow climbers.

Half-an-hour into my walk, it all changed when I saw a man climbing with the aid of sticks - He didn’t have any legs. For every step he took, his face was filled with so much happiness, so much joy that I immediately realized how ignorant I was. I never believed in Luck and I never believed in God. God, for me, was a concept using which some discipline is instilled into a Human mind on the verge of destruction. I will never know if I am right or if I am getting carried away but I will always remember the moment I saw God. I saw the God in that man's hands, his eyes and his smile. My pity for him was gone; all I had in me was joy, Joy of seeing God. I finally kept my camera in my bag because it was where it belonged. This was journey for my eyes, my heart and I was sure that I didn’t need a camera lens to capture it.

My hugely inflated body made sure that my walk was very slow. My lack of exercise meant that I had enough cramps to sit down holding my legs. But for once in my life, I enjoyed pain- Pain was liberating. It was God's way of freeing me from the sins that I have committed. I managed to meet the lord in the shrine twice and the only thing left in me was joy. On hind-sight I am glad I was alone. I would never have experienced God, the way I did, if it was in any other way.