Sunday, June 22, 2008

Live Strong

Offlate I have been talking a lot about philosophy. I have seen vishy write remarkably about evolution. Even I discussed few things about evolution with Gyaan Guru. Anyways after reading Bill Bryson, the concept of evolution has been more endearing. The concept of God for that matter is little more complicated. Even this was discussed in detail by many around me. I do not believe in religions, castes but I just believe in the concept of God. I believe believers like me need to go through a lot of ordeal especially when they see someone close to them go through things, things that will make you wonder if a God exists and if he does, how can these things take place.


Coming to my friends, I have one close friend from my childhood, from my nursery. We share a different kind of friendship. We shared the same class until our tenth. We were best friends for most of this time. We never played together after school because he did not play. He never came out of house, never tried to get along with girls. But he always looked forward to meeting me and I always looked forward to spending time with him in his house verandah. After our tenth, things continued this way until I had to go to chennai for my Job. While going, I came to know that he has some health problem because of which he cannot work now and he needs to take some time off from any sort of work. When ever i met him when i came to Hyderabad, i found him telling the same story and I always believed him. Indeed I began to force him to start moving around and I always tried to make him think about coming out of the house. So this time I again met him after coming from UK, told him about my impending departure to US, he said he wanted to tell me a truth. As I found him telling about his disease, only one thing went through my mind - there could well have been a situation where a news could have greeted me instead of him. While I was shocked, I found him solacing me. I was the only one who knows the truth among all his friends. I was expected to be cheerful n demanding and he did not want me to pity him. I am telling you because I am not sure when you will return. Its not completely hopeless but the act of hoping sometimes looks hopeless. Not knowing what to say - I asked him if he read Its not about the Bike. I immediately felt bad. I did not want to create a false hope and I was worried that Lances word can create the same. He asked me to get the book for him. I told him that I was not sure that he should read it. He wanted to read it because he found in Orkut that it was my favorite and it seems the favorite of Sachin tendulkar also. I promised him that I would get the book for him.

That day I promised to myself that I will not pity him. I will greet him with the same energy as I always do. I would help him Live Strong. Indeed he was already living Strong.

I again met him yesterday to tell him about my Visa and that I wanted to give him a treat. I wanted to ask him what was the type of treat that he preferred. I did not yet buy the book but I was going to. In short, I was looking to spend some quality time talking fun with him. As I saw him approaching me, I noticed changes in his appearance, I found his voice trembling and I found myself abandoning the Live Strong Concept - Wearing a band isnt everything. I asked him if things were ok and I was told that they were and these changes were part of the UPs and Downs of the treatment. I abandoned everything that I wanted to do. I escaped from him because I was feeling weak. I just could not see him in this state. I promised to return back in 1-2 days. I told him that I had urgent work - I had work but it was by no means urgent. Back in home, I feel ashamed of me. About the sorry figure that I have become.

I found myself hearing to Dan Seals sing "I am going to live my life like everyday is that last, with out a simple good bye.......". I found myself crying. I confront my mom on the basis of her belief in God. God should never allow something happen to my friend, my most innocent friend. I dont know if she is right but she asked me to go and spend time with him. Asked me to realize that he is lonely and that he will like my company. Just spend time with him. It will make him feel good and will do a world of good to you. I was asked to start acting and stop thinking. As I try to get along, I promise myself tht I will listen to my mom and the next thing I am going to do is buy that book that he is looking to read asap. I will even give him a Live Strong band which unfortunately is looked upon like a friendship band in India. I will hopefully start living strong seeing him do it from close.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Pasina... Marina... But no Hasinaa

I see it. Its resemblance to my past was unmistakable. Its rough edges, i thought, perfectly blended with me. It made me remember my lost bicycle 9 years ago. I was a bicycle enthu who did not properly ride a bicycle for 9 years. Now seeing a bicycle which looked like mine excited me.


My Days in Chennai were ending. I suddenly remembered that I never went to Marina Beach. I dont know if it was the crowds that put me off or that I do not follow crowd or my goa days which made sure that I was never attracted to Chennai Beaches - the fact is even though i traveled on Marina Beach road many-a-times, I never ventured into beach. Now I felt I needed to see it.


I got up by 5:30. I took my bag to carry camera, water and purse. I planned to ride to Marina Beach from my besant nagar house. I carried purse so that I could return back in an Auto in case I did not make it. And then as I cycled to Marina, I realized that I was still good on a cycle. I reached the place quite quickly, covered most of the beach, saw children n oldies enjoying themselves, surprisingly no haseenas at all and before the sun was really out, I started back. I reached our place by 7:30 after spending some good time in beach. I just felt good, felt light is the better word. I would have enjoyed more if I had company but then it wasnt meant to be.

ps: I am officially unemploed now. Got my US Visa and Will be travelling to US on Jul 17.

Cheers!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

An Innocent Thought - The Right Thought

It’s a family gathering. Parents congregate and proudly parade their children. All the parents show keen interest in asking many questions to these children. It was an informal contest between the parents and winner was the best parent whose child answered the better.

So the questions were rapid and the answers quick.
Even I was asked one such question.

What do you want to become child when you grow big?
My reply was spontaneous: 'Software Engineer'

I heard many voices. 'Good', ' Shabaash!' .....

To be frank, I really did not know what to make of all the reactions but seeing my proud parents, I knew I said something good and I was also proud!

Years down the Line, Similar family gathering. Same Parents, different children. The Smaller ones in the family also had to get their chance.

I see him alone. Gathering had an ability to bring the worst out of him. He was like this kid lost between two worlds. One which only he could understand and one which everyone except him could understand. He did not know about the questions that were going to be directed at him. He was my Peter pan, my brother.

Slowly but surely, the elders in the family catch hold of him and he is asked a similar question.

'Whets up kid? What do you want to become after growing up'
Well the kid was surprised and he really saw no reason why he had to disclose his ambitions to any. He does not answer. He goes away. His parents ask him to tell anything that he wants to tell. He says he has nothing to tell.

He hears many voices. 'His brother will direct him', 'confused bacha','Shy'

The pressure of comparison would have taken a toll on him. I knew that he would have wanted to become something. I always knew what I wanted to become. In the same way I was sure that even he knew it. For me, it was just a case of him not opening up.

After many days one night, discussing about stars, I ask him the same question and he does not answer me. He takes time to open up and I knew it. After sometime, he shared his dilemma with me.

'Well brother, I am really confused. I feel sad when I cannot say what I want to become. When I see Formula 1, I want to become a Formula 1 Engineer. When I see astronauts, I want to become one of them, when I see electronics and how they work, I want to make electronics. So I am confused, I really don’t know what I want to become'

I don’t really remember what I answered but I remember telling him to improve his fundamentals, develop a nice base for as long as he wanted, 'once you have a good base, you can build as complex a building as you want' Well.. let’s not dwell much into what I told him. I talk crap and it’s regular.

Today I saw my brother scoring a good percentage in his exams, he finally showed to some that he is something. I always knew he is better than me. For, he appreciated the world around him better than I ever did. It took me long time to really explore my options and look at the world holistically, He did it when he was a little kid telling his dilemma about not being able to decide what he wanted to become. Today when I see my dilemma, I remember his thoughts and though I always loved his thought as an innocent thought, I have only realized of late that it was the right thought.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Following the Donkeys Trail....

So it finally happened. After a lot of false-starts and after almost postponing it once again, we went ahead and the experience has been so big that it will be difficult to describe using words. But I am going to give it a try though...

Before you people find it difficult to comprehend what I am talking about or before you try to understand the title and before you start scolding me not understanding it, let me write this pretty quickly.... I am talking about the Walk in the Lakes. I guess this description creates more confusion. okay, let me give it another try. I am talking about THE best outdoor experience four of us had because of the greatness of one special special English man. I am talking about spending a day in a region which has the highest rainfall in England. I am talking about spending a day in glorious weather with out any rain when the only thing predicted by every met department was Rain. I am finally going to put it in a simple way. I am talking about spending a day in Lake district walking beside the lakes, walking on lush green farms, walking beside the sheep and even cows, which have the capacity to haunt you in dream (don't think why I wrote about the cows, its too complex), watching the most beautiful hidden lake that we ever saw and finally climbing with out rope to reach the summit. For people who did not come with me on the trek ( Well 'trek' is what I am actually writing about ), my description may look little hyped but the fact of the matter is every thing I am writing is the truth and I write & speak only truth.

Before I start, again a big thanks to the weather God. He/ She has indeed smiled on us that day. A Big Thanks from MANCHESTER!!!!

Again let me take some time introducing the cast. There are 4 other persons including me but the real cast is one person- Mr. Phillip Harland, He likes everyone to call him Phil, I call him Sir! (I show respect to old men, he is not that old though, he is only 49 but he looks 69! at least to few, phew!!!). He is the most charming personality I met in UK and I am sure at least two among the 4 of us, if not all, will agree to it.

Here we go....

Showing us the way.... well thats where we were going!
Don't get confused, the picture just shows the direction not the summit. In a way, this post of mine is going to be the same, it will try to make you feel the experience but the experience belonged to us:).


So on a pleasant day when the rain stopped when we started, we began our trek. Some of us were so confused that we mistook the road that leads us to the climb to the actual climb. I will not talk about the people who were confused about the place. It is Grasmere (YO YO) .Mr. Phil was obviously trying to scare us by confusing us with the route but we were too excited to be scared. So as we were moving on the road, there was a path in the farms which was made for people who were keen on avoiding the road. We took the path in the farm and excitement began for us not by seeing the sights that were waiting for us but by seeing the change in the color of the shoes we were wearing. It was time to get dirty and we were more than willing. So considering that the trek has indeed begun in my blog, lets have more of the 'WE' I will be referring to in this post.



Sir, Aditi, Praveen & Sumanth (Left 2 Right).
I know I am missing. There is a little secret of mine. I am a self sacrificing idiot and I was looking more to capture my friends than me. But I am still accused of creating a portfolio.

As we started forging ahead, lakes greeted us, the little bridges welcomed us, the sheep stared at us, the cows ignored us, the kissing gate allowed us and waterfalls invited us. We accepted the invitation and played before the waterfalls, not in it as we had just begun the journey and we had to keep ourselves warm. Of course I managed to injure my knee by slipping near the waterfalls (for people who know me, I know you will be saying 'Whats NEW') but the good thing was that it took me one full day to feel the pain. The waterfalls has an interesting name 'Sour Milk'. It was white so it was called Milk. We really could not get why it was called sour, it looked only sweet to us. As we continued our trekking, the sights beckoned on us and one such sight took our breath away...


I don't remember the name of this pristine lake. I will not disclose it even if I knew it.

It personally took me few seconds to actually recognize that it was a lake. Of course the sights I had access to could never be captured. It was as I said our experience. For a while, I thought that this Lake did not belong to any. Well it neither belonged to Land nor water & not even Sky. Of course Mr. Phil cleared the confusion by telling us that this Lake belonged to the Queen. I guess he is after all ENGLISH , a proud one too!. We of course took many photos at this location. Even I was tricked into photos by my friends and I must say, some surely belong to my portfolio.
We all agreed to one point though. It was indeed the most beautiful sight experienced by us.

Finally after spending considering amount of time at the lake, we started our trek towards the second hill that we were going to capture. Before it became difficult though, we managed to pass through some amazing places. Everything that greeted us while we were climbing were also present in this route and we had more of the lakes, bridges and also other fellow climbers.



Kabhi Kabhi Ghaas bhi Sundar Lagtha hain... You only need the eyes to see it. My Camera can only help so much...

We finally reached the point of our arduous trek and we had a sign board indicating the same. We had the option to go back to car or start trekking. We were game for trek but some time down the clock, few of us began to question their judgment. Few will be wrong and it should be one. It was not the girl and it wasn't me. It was Mr. Super Fit doubting his judgment. The second photo should help you in finding the super fit. Of course the three young turks among us were surprised seeing the speed maintained by the oldie n the girlie. All this while, we were encouraged by the great man to keep up the speed as he did not want us to miss on any sights. He was full of encouragement leading the pack

OLD IS INDEED GOLD

This was not exactly the arduous trek I was referring to. But Mr. Phil was always full of encouragement the way he is in this image.



Finally we did reach the summit. Not all of us reached the real summit, the summit on the summit but I did, so did the oldie n the girlie. The Summit on the summit refers to the 20 feet rock on the hill which we had to climb with out help of a rope:). It was difficult and I am really grateful to Phil that he helped me climb it. It feels complete. I just remembered one good song. Aditi made it special by actually listening to a Sufi Song on top of the summit on the summit. Now who says girls don't have their own way of making things special!!! 'Experience of a life time u see...'



As I Said, the oldie n the girlie were always ahead of us. Of course we were the ones showing respect.

After really struggling to get down the rock and after puncturing one of my pillows, we all started eating on the summit. There was chicken, burger, bread, omlette, drinks, chocolates and yes yes also a ketchup bottle. We carried all this in our bags. The idea of ketchup was mine and it was an instant hit. After our round of eating, we started the trek down. I was a picture of concentration during our downward journey. Its other thing that I managed to slip twice but did not get injured this time around. My concentration helped me. It was just a half slip. Finally we reached the car, thanked the weather god, packed all our stuff into the car and got into it. The rain again started falling. Now this is timing and we were so glad that we were on the right side of it.

Finally... Summarizing the whole thing : Trekking is wrecking the sane part of you, uncorking the insane part of you, triggering the adventurous part of you and anything n everything that this nonstop-nonsense in me decides to write... I know its getting boring but I am here to add Nonsense value. Indeed thats the only thing I have been doing for some time:) (Its really surprising to find what you can become when you try to become something which you are not. Okay... No complaints, there are still people who like me for what I am and I am happy!!!)

To put it simply though ( I am making a big attempt here...), Its you forgetting about everything and spending some time with nature in a way you can do by only trekking.

Coming to the title and why I have chosen it, It was to inspire all of us in choosing the shortest path while trekking. Well... the donkeys trail was supposed to be the shortest and I was the one who said it, well someone said it and I read it. But the only trail that was as disturbed as that of the donkeys was mine and I guess the next time you go there, you will know whose trail you are following... Confused, it will be my trail. Don't think much. I have even stopped writing!

Are u Shaking??? Its the Photo thats making u shake, not my writing. Could not loose out on a chance to improve my portfolio.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

A Strange Day - It is indeed a Women’s day

It was a team outing. It was other thing that the size of team was big (May be I should call it a battalion) and needed a coach to carry it. It’s other thing that most of the outing actually took place in the coach.

The day started pretty normal. Snoozing my alarm from 5:30 to 6:30 and then getting up and getting myself and my roomie ready before 7. We decided to wait for 15 minutes before we started because going on time is not cool, according to my roomie, and going early before everyone arrives is a sure recipe for becoming BAKRA. We slowly reached the place and were expecting every one there waiting for us but to our surprise there were only a few bakras out there and we were about to join them. We joined the pack and though I was initially annoyed seeing babies out there waiting in cold, our minds quickly realized that it was a good time to make an exit and we decided to go to one of our colleague’s house near by and have a great coffee by his wife.

We managed to board the coach in time, must say a little head of time(1 hour after the scheduled departure) and got a good seat where I & my roomie planned to have a good banter. But before we could start any, we were asked to move behind and had to sit separately with people who enjoyed in a way we did not prefer to. I knew I had only one company, the English countryside. Spent most of time appreciating the beauty, thinking of various stories I could write with the English country side as back ground, thinking of any business that is not yet explored by the clever English men. Then there was a halt and I encouraged by my creative roomie, well he is as creative as me:), started exploring our cameras. Giving various stills was funny and our cameras were good enuf to capture most of them. I am yet to upload the pics. Will send the link once I do.

Now I was energized and got a good seat also... Saw that there was a beautiful baby to entertain me and I had a really great time enjoying with her. Then we had lunch which was all crap except for one piece of GYAAN every one out there got from a responsible lady. "It’s easier to ask questions and it’s difficult to organize". I decided to shut my mouth and our on-off journey continued now in a boat. The boat journey was ok but the scenery was good and we somehow managed to relate few things out there to Titanic. Now we were tired and ready to sleep. Suddenly I remembered that it was Women’s day and I knew I had to call someone special to tell her how special she was.

I call the gorgeous lady and remind her that its Women’s day. Of course the lady knew it before me and apparently gave a treat to her male colleagues celebrating the occasion. I can’t imagine the faces of her colleagues though.... :) . I started praising her , "Today I am celebrating the most perfect woman I ever met. You have raised the bar a lot. You have made my life difficult. You are special........." I expected her to blush but the lady did not show any weakness and she started talking about the trouble her male colleagues were giving her. Well... she still remembered the topics that irked me. Of course I enter into an argument but slowly realizing that the lady has high BP decided to pacify her by telling Sorry. Being a lady, she started talking about the workload, the mental tension, the responsibilities and how she would love it if she stopped working. Of course she does not realize that the only thing that keeps her moving is her work and she would be more unhappy if she were doing nothing. The Lady, My MOM, knew that I knew all of this. I tell her a sweet good bye and end the conversation.

My MOM is my everything. She was my hitler in my childhood. She was also my genie. It’s so funny to imagine that there were very very few occasions when I had to really open my mouth and ask for anything. I always had everything I wanted before I asked for. She was my best friend after my school. She is of course the one who has the most arguments with me. I will always remember the occasion when I was boarding the train to go to chennai to start my professional life. Mommy was angry on me for deciding to work rather than doing something special (It was a shame to her that her son, the son of a proud bank manager, her special son decides to go everyone’s way. well I had other ideas then) and managed not to show any emotions during all my packing. It was after all the first time when I was going to be away from house for a long time. But when the train started, I saw her crying, tears were flowing, it took a lot of effort from my friends to pacify her. I was her best friend but still My Mom was supposed to be very strong and seeing this side of hers for the first time ever made me understand how pure the heart of mother is. If I owe my destiny to any, it’s her. My dad may have few things to say on this declaration of mine but I take this liberty being a SON. She is a sports woman, a fighter and a real leader. She exceeds all my expectations every single time and for once, I hope I exceed her expectations with my success.

This day like everyday is about to end. The myriad of emotions I experienced today makes it a little strange. Of course now a days, I have more strange days rather than normal days. Anything that’s related to women is strange and it’s really no wonder that A Women’s day, as it should, turned out to be strange day.