Offlate I have been talking a lot about philosophy. I have seen vishy write remarkably about evolution. Even I discussed few things about evolution with Gyaan Guru. Anyways after reading Bill Bryson, the concept of evolution has been more endearing. The concept of God for that matter is little more complicated. Even this was discussed in detail by many around me. I do not believe in religions, castes but I just believe in the concept of God. I believe believers like me need to go through a lot of ordeal especially when they see someone close to them go through things, things that will make you wonder if a God exists and if he does, how can these things take place.
Coming to my friends, I have one close friend from my childhood, from my nursery. We share a different kind of friendship. We shared the same class until our tenth. We were best friends for most of this time. We never played together after school because he did not play. He never came out of house, never tried to get along with girls. But he always looked forward to meeting me and I always looked forward to spending time with him in his house verandah. After our tenth, things continued this way until I had to go to chennai for my Job. While going, I came to know that he has some health problem because of which he cannot work now and he needs to take some time off from any sort of work. When ever i met him when i came to Hyderabad, i found him telling the same story and I always believed him. Indeed I began to force him to start moving around and I always tried to make him think about coming out of the house. So this time I again met him after coming from UK, told him about my impending departure to US, he said he wanted to tell me a truth. As I found him telling about his disease, only one thing went through my mind - there could well have been a situation where a news could have greeted me instead of him. While I was shocked, I found him solacing me. I was the only one who knows the truth among all his friends. I was expected to be cheerful n demanding and he did not want me to pity him. I am telling you because I am not sure when you will return. Its not completely hopeless but the act of hoping sometimes looks hopeless. Not knowing what to say - I asked him if he read Its not about the Bike. I immediately felt bad. I did not want to create a false hope and I was worried that Lances word can create the same. He asked me to get the book for him. I told him that I was not sure that he should read it. He wanted to read it because he found in Orkut that it was my favorite and it seems the favorite of Sachin tendulkar also. I promised him that I would get the book for him.
That day I promised to myself that I will not pity him. I will greet him with the same energy as I always do. I would help him Live Strong. Indeed he was already living Strong.
I again met him yesterday to tell him about my Visa and that I wanted to give him a treat. I wanted to ask him what was the type of treat that he preferred. I did not yet buy the book but I was going to. In short, I was looking to spend some quality time talking fun with him. As I saw him approaching me, I noticed changes in his appearance, I found his voice trembling and I found myself abandoning the Live Strong Concept - Wearing a band isnt everything. I asked him if things were ok and I was told that they were and these changes were part of the UPs and Downs of the treatment. I abandoned everything that I wanted to do. I escaped from him because I was feeling weak. I just could not see him in this state. I promised to return back in 1-2 days. I told him that I had urgent work - I had work but it was by no means urgent. Back in home, I feel ashamed of me. About the sorry figure that I have become.
I found myself hearing to Dan Seals sing "I am going to live my life like everyday is that last, with out a simple good bye.......". I found myself crying. I confront my mom on the basis of her belief in God. God should never allow something happen to my friend, my most innocent friend. I dont know if she is right but she asked me to go and spend time with him. Asked me to realize that he is lonely and that he will like my company. Just spend time with him. It will make him feel good and will do a world of good to you. I was asked to start acting and stop thinking. As I try to get along, I promise myself tht I will listen to my mom and the next thing I am going to do is buy that book that he is looking to read asap. I will even give him a Live Strong band which unfortunately is looked upon like a friendship band in India. I will hopefully start living strong seeing him do it from close.
