An Innocent Thought - The Right Thought

It’s a family gathering. Parents congregate and proudly parade their children. All the parents show keen interest in asking many questions to these children. It was an informal contest between the parents and winner was the best parent whose child answered the better.

So the questions were rapid and the answers quick.
Even I was asked one such question.

What do you want to become child when you grow big?
My reply was spontaneous: 'Software Engineer'

I heard many voices. 'Good', ' Shabaash!' .....

To be frank, I really did not know what to make of all the reactions but seeing my proud parents, I knew I said something good and I was also proud!

Years down the Line, Similar family gathering. Same Parents, different children. The Smaller ones in the family also had to get their chance.

I see him alone. Gathering had an ability to bring the worst out of him. He was like this kid lost between two worlds. One which only he could understand and one which everyone except him could understand. He did not know about the questions that were going to be directed at him. He was my Peter pan, my brother.

Slowly but surely, the elders in the family catch hold of him and he is asked a similar question.

'Whets up kid? What do you want to become after growing up'
Well the kid was surprised and he really saw no reason why he had to disclose his ambitions to any. He does not answer. He goes away. His parents ask him to tell anything that he wants to tell. He says he has nothing to tell.

He hears many voices. 'His brother will direct him', 'confused bacha','Shy'

The pressure of comparison would have taken a toll on him. I knew that he would have wanted to become something. I always knew what I wanted to become. In the same way I was sure that even he knew it. For me, it was just a case of him not opening up.

After many days one night, discussing about stars, I ask him the same question and he does not answer me. He takes time to open up and I knew it. After sometime, he shared his dilemma with me.

'Well brother, I am really confused. I feel sad when I cannot say what I want to become. When I see Formula 1, I want to become a Formula 1 Engineer. When I see astronauts, I want to become one of them, when I see electronics and how they work, I want to make electronics. So I am confused, I really don’t know what I want to become'

I don’t really remember what I answered but I remember telling him to improve his fundamentals, develop a nice base for as long as he wanted, 'once you have a good base, you can build as complex a building as you want' Well.. let’s not dwell much into what I told him. I talk crap and it’s regular.

Today I saw my brother scoring a good percentage in his exams, he finally showed to some that he is something. I always knew he is better than me. For, he appreciated the world around him better than I ever did. It took me long time to really explore my options and look at the world holistically, He did it when he was a little kid telling his dilemma about not being able to decide what he wanted to become. Today when I see my dilemma, I remember his thoughts and though I always loved his thought as an innocent thought, I have only realized of late that it was the right thought.

A Director’s take on my Personal Life.

I love my life. I love every bit of it. When you love something so much as I do, you want it to be perfect. I must agree before hand that there are few not-so-perfect things that happened in my life. But the raspberry award for the best part goes to my personal life. Okay, I will be little clearer. The raspberry award for the best part goes to my attempts to get on with the opposite sex. I cannot be clearer. I am too shy.

Okay... now that the cat is out of the bag, the awful:( truth is out, let me analyse, in my own cute:) way, the great things that I have been doing. Here I go with my Director’s hat-on. I guess it’s already on. Anyway...

I am very particular about the cast in my movies. That explains the few auditions I took and also the few lucky people who managed to get through those arduous auditions. It ofcourse helps when the cast is only one person at a time. Here is where my trouble with perfection haunts me. Having made the casting a few times, I should have at least filmed one movie. Its not that I was worried about the climax, I hardly know the climax, (I guess I am one of those next generation directors who creates scripts ‘On the fly...’) But still I should have come up with some goods.

So what is the director doing with out filming the movie?
He is trying to perfect the perfection. He is trying to improve the sets, the lighting etc. My cast doesn’t actually know that a movie is being filmed. Being intelligent & sensible, they decided that nothing is happening here and went for greener pastures. I don’t even know if they gave it a thought. I mean thought about the movie that was being planned. The movie never took off...

If only my film had fewer cuts and even fewer retakes, I would have made a movie, a really beautiful movie.

Note:- The movie I was referring to in the above blog refers to the Love story I never had. I am adding this as an after thought as one of my friends made me realize that my blog has various meanings. Thanks Buddy:)
I just want to reassure my near n dear that I am still Chaithu, the good guy, the most eligible.......(Dreams again!!!).

A World of my own

“Close your eyes and remember GOD…”
“Sapne Dekho, Sapne Sach hote hain…”
“I can hear the happiness in your voice…”
…
..
.
“You Made IT…”
“Chalo Boss, you finally have the keys to your treasure. I am inspired boss. I am Happy. I am proud”
“I always knew it dude…”
…
..
.
“Ur light at the end of the tunnel is not that of an oncoming train…”


“I made it and I can’t stop smiling…”
“Chalo aur EK Sapna Sach huan…”

Normalcy resumes after the frenzy of my admit celebrations.
I am finally able to catch up my thoughts. I can’t help it if these thoughts take me back to the celebrations itself.

All these statements above (though not 100% original) were said by people around me. By People who matter the most to me.
I could not cover everyone but I am happy that I had so many people vouching for me… so many who matter the most to me.

If you have read my earlier Celebrating Work Post, you will get an insight into my thinking when I decided I wanted to do something else.

This long journey till now has brought quite a change in me.
I have improved by leaps n bounds. (My Yardstick to judge my improvement is my conscience)

What has improved me?

I guess it’s the people around me.
Some were present physically, some were present in the books/ articles I was reading and some were present in the words I was memorizing.

The other day, one of my close friends, was asking me what will I feel if I notice jealousy around me. I did not give him a proper answer.
Now I have an answer. I will feel proud. Proud of me. Proud of the people around me who helped me in becoming what I am today.

Its not that I have become something great but If someone can be jealous of me, I guess I have beccome something even if it is nothing.

World is a pretty interesting place. It has so much in it that by the time you ask “What’s in it for me?” U r inevitably left with very little time.
So it’s always better to try to get the most of what you have.
You may have friends, enemies, parties, achievements, failures but you have a journey, a journey called life.

With so many things in your beautiful journey, U have a World of your own and I am proud of mine.

Chaithu in Chester , UK

Here I am, in this Beautiful world, Here I am...

People would consider me a big idiot if I don't say UK is beautiful. Just look at the pictures I took, you will know why. Of course the photos were taken by me. But people who know my skills behind a camera will vouch that the photos look good inspite of me not because of me:(:(:(

Coming to UK. UK is cool and calm. The first thing I notice about the place is the amazing roads, cars and the systematic way in which people live here. I would be telling a lie if I say I wasn't bowled over initially. Its winter and when it gets cold here, its really really cold. Its so calm that people will hear you even if you are talking to yourself. The day here ends at 6:00. Expect no shops after that except Tesco and other biggies. You will find most of the roads deserted after 7. People here are also very very particular about mannerisms, I don't know if its because of their generosity or their colonial past.

After a few weeks here, UK for me crawls. Life here is so systematic that people like me who come from India really wonder whats going on. I am already missing the noise and life of India. But as long as I earn in Pounds, I will not mind :).

Expect oldies in Work place. The younger ones here are in their 30's. With no disrespect to elders, I come from a place where I was surrounded by people of my age, people who were always looking for an opportunity to overtake me. In here forget about over takings, you are supposed to hold the door for the people coming behind you. I guess even I am doing it, I hope it does not slow me down. But buddies, you will seriously not mind some of the 30's you see around you. Trust me on this. Period.

The one "Ooh la la... " thing I love about UK is football. Its the country of Manchester United. Soon I am going for a stadium tour of Manchester United. I will be in Dressing rooms, Dugouts etc etc :):):) Hold your breath!! I am going to watch Manchester United vs Middlesbrough Live on 27 October and I am going to be seated Front ROW!!!!. I may not have the best viewing angle but watching Manchester United so close and that too from front row satisifies one of my long cherished dreams. Will come up with more pictures in the coming weeks.

Obsession with Self

I live in a world filled with obsession, obsession with self.

I live in a world where every day & every thing starts with I and every day & every thing ends with me.

I live in a world which has produced many great people, whose sacrifices/ acts are unfortunately limited to books of history and whose sacrifices/ acts are unfortunately looked at as an exception rather than deeds to be followed.

I live in a world where every good action, which is not obsessed with self, is looked at as an action used to promote some hideous desire or purpose and that a good action is just meant to act as an decoy hiding some secondary purpose associated with it.

I unfortunately live in a world where I am supposed to feel me, enjoy me, pamper me ....... and think only about me because any other thing I do is supposedly not me.

I wanna be Forrest

The other day I was reading a blog titled "Run Forrest Run", this made me remember Forrest Gump, my favourite movie. Considering my situation right now, being in a continuous state of confusion, I began analyzing Forrest Gump in a way I have never done before [ Mind you, I have analysed him a lot ]. Seeing Forrest do amazingly funny things and seeing him achieve stardom in what ever he was doing was really funny. For me, he was an innocent guy who went about doing what ever he liked, who got really lucky and who was also one who did not even realize that he got lucky.

Forrest had a beautiful girl friend who told him to run, I don't have one nor do I intend to have one anytime soon. But I want my life to tell me to run, Run Chaithu Run!!! When Forrest decided to run, he began running with out giving a care to the world around him, He did not even realize that he had become a cult figure and that he was tracked by one n all. Even I wanna do things with out thinking about what other person thinks.

Forrest was awarded for bravery in war, he became a world champion in Table Tennis, he became a business tycoon and he remained that same old innocent "boy". How can some one just think, like I did, that he was just lucky? He was not and he cannot. He followed his heart and earnestly followed it with out questioning [With out wasting his time; take it as a case study of productivity, productivity of life ]. Now I wanna succeed in my life, for a change I wanna acknowledge my success too.


Ok, Where did Forrest get it right and where did, I and I am sure many people like me, got it wrong [I still have time to get it right though]


Maybe as I grew, I in my attempt to learn anything n everything, I learned so much about things around me that I inevitably polluted my mind. May be I should not think that "For every action there is an equal & opposite reaction", May be I should not have learnt it because from the time I learnt it, I have been inevitably thinking of the Opposite reaction rather than concentrating on action but is it correct to stop someone from leaning Newton's Laws of motion. As a science lover, I will say No.

Considering the fact that we can never have as pure a brain as Forrest had, the only the road ahead is to improve, to have a constant urge to improve, to never sit on laurels. Finally, Please don't judge ur improvement through others eyes. If Forrest had seen world through others eyes, there would not have been a Forrest Gump and I would not have even written this post.

Finally I could see myself sitting on a bench near the bus stop and keep telling something or other about my thoughts to everyone thru my blog until I catch my bus. The chances r u will get bored.

PS:- For People Who Don't know about Forrest Gump, You can see him in a movie titled Forrest Gump. You can get his DVD/CD from any good movie retailer. After watching the movie, try reading this post again, U may get something from it [ WARNING: TRYING TO GET LOGIC FROM MY POSTS IS AS DIFFICULT AS IT GETS ]