An Innocent Thought - The Right Thought

It’s a family gathering. Parents congregate and proudly parade their children. All the parents show keen interest in asking many questions to these children. It was an informal contest between the parents and winner was the best parent whose child answered the better.

So the questions were rapid and the answers quick.
Even I was asked one such question.

What do you want to become child when you grow big?
My reply was spontaneous: 'Software Engineer'

I heard many voices. 'Good', ' Shabaash!' .....

To be frank, I really did not know what to make of all the reactions but seeing my proud parents, I knew I said something good and I was also proud!

Years down the Line, Similar family gathering. Same Parents, different children. The Smaller ones in the family also had to get their chance.

I see him alone. Gathering had an ability to bring the worst out of him. He was like this kid lost between two worlds. One which only he could understand and one which everyone except him could understand. He did not know about the questions that were going to be directed at him. He was my Peter pan, my brother.

Slowly but surely, the elders in the family catch hold of him and he is asked a similar question.

'Whets up kid? What do you want to become after growing up'
Well the kid was surprised and he really saw no reason why he had to disclose his ambitions to any. He does not answer. He goes away. His parents ask him to tell anything that he wants to tell. He says he has nothing to tell.

He hears many voices. 'His brother will direct him', 'confused bacha','Shy'

The pressure of comparison would have taken a toll on him. I knew that he would have wanted to become something. I always knew what I wanted to become. In the same way I was sure that even he knew it. For me, it was just a case of him not opening up.

After many days one night, discussing about stars, I ask him the same question and he does not answer me. He takes time to open up and I knew it. After sometime, he shared his dilemma with me.

'Well brother, I am really confused. I feel sad when I cannot say what I want to become. When I see Formula 1, I want to become a Formula 1 Engineer. When I see astronauts, I want to become one of them, when I see electronics and how they work, I want to make electronics. So I am confused, I really don’t know what I want to become'

I don’t really remember what I answered but I remember telling him to improve his fundamentals, develop a nice base for as long as he wanted, 'once you have a good base, you can build as complex a building as you want' Well.. let’s not dwell much into what I told him. I talk crap and it’s regular.

Today I saw my brother scoring a good percentage in his exams, he finally showed to some that he is something. I always knew he is better than me. For, he appreciated the world around him better than I ever did. It took me long time to really explore my options and look at the world holistically, He did it when he was a little kid telling his dilemma about not being able to decide what he wanted to become. Today when I see my dilemma, I remember his thoughts and though I always loved his thought as an innocent thought, I have only realized of late that it was the right thought.