Chaithu UnPlugged!!!.

Live Strong

2008-06-22T20:10:00.002+05:30

Offlate I have been talking a lot about philosophy. I have seen vishy write remarkably about evolution. Even I discussed few things about evolution with Gyaan Guru. Anyways after reading Bill Bryson, the concept of evolution has been more endearing. The concept of God for that matter is little more complicated. Even this was discussed in detail by many around me. I do not believe in religions, castes but I just believe in the concept of God. I believe believers like me need to go through a lot of ordeal especially when they see someone close to them go through things, things that will make you wonder if a God exists and if he does, how can these things take place.

Coming to my friends, I have one close friend from my childhood, from my nursery. We share a different kind of friendship. We shared the same class until our tenth. We were best friends for most of this time. We never played together after school because he did not play. He never came out of house, never tried to get along with girls. But he always looked forward to meeting me and I always looked forward to spending time with him in his house verandah. After our tenth, things continued this way until I had to go to chennai for my Job. While going, I came to know that he has some health problem because of which he cannot work now and he needs to take some time off from any sort of work. When ever i met him when i came to Hyderabad, i found him telling the same story and I always believed him. Indeed I began to force him to start moving around and I always tried to make him think about coming out of the house. So this time I again met him after coming from UK, told him about my impending departure to US, he said he wanted to tell me a truth. As I found him telling about his disease, only one thing went through my mind - there could well have been a situation where a news could have greeted me instead of him. While I was shocked, I found him solacing me. I was the only one who knows the truth among all his friends. I was expected to be cheerful n demanding and he did not want me to pity him. I am telling you because I am not sure when you will return. Its not completely hopeless but the act of hoping sometimes looks hopeless. Not knowing what to say - I asked him if he read Its not about the Bike. I immediately felt bad. I did not want to create a false hope and I was worried that Lances word can create the same. He asked me to get the book for him. I told him that I was not sure that he should read it. He wanted to read it because he found in Orkut that it was my favorite and it seems the favorite of Sachin tendulkar also. I promised him that I would get the book for him.

That day I promised to myself that I will not pity him. I will greet him with the same energy as I always do. I would help him Live Strong. Indeed he was already living Strong.

I again met him yesterday to tell him about my Visa and that I wanted to give him a treat. I wanted to ask him what was the type of treat that he preferred. I did not yet buy the book but I was going to. In short, I was looking to spend some quality time talking fun with him. As I saw him approaching me, I noticed changes in his appearance, I found his voice trembling and I found myself abandoning the Live Strong Concept - Wearing a band isnt everything. I asked him if things were ok and I was told that they were and these changes were part of the UPs and Downs of the treatment. I abandoned everything that I wanted to do. I escaped from him because I was feeling weak. I just could not see him in this state. I promised to return back in 1-2 days. I told him that I had urgent work - I had work but it was by no means urgent. Back in home, I feel ashamed of me. About the sorry figure that I have become.

I found myself hearing to Dan Seals sing "I am going to live my life like everyday is that last, with out a simple good bye.......". I found myself crying. I confront my mom on the basis of her belief in God. God should never allow something happen to my friend, my most innocent friend. I dont know if she is right but she asked me to go and spend time with him. Asked me to realize that he is lonely and that he will like my company. Just spend time with him. It will make him feel good and will do a world of good to you. I was asked to start acting and stop thinking. As I try to get along, I promise myself tht I will listen to my mom and the next thing I am going to do is buy that book that he is looking to read asap. I will even give him a Live Strong band which unfortunately is looked upon like a friendship band in India. I will hopefully start living strong seeing him do it from close.

Pasina... Marina... But no Hasinaa

2008-06-21T15:02:00.003+05:30

I see it. Its resemblance to my past was unmistakable. Its rough edges, i thought, perfectly blended with me. It made me remember my lost bicycle 9 years ago. I was a bicycle enthu who did not properly ride a bicycle for 9 years. Now seeing a bicycle which looked like mine excited me.

My Days in Chennai were ending. I suddenly remembered that I never went to Marina Beach. I dont know if it was the crowds that put me off or that I do not follow crowd or my goa days which made sure that I was never attracted to Chennai Beaches - the fact is even though i traveled on Marina Beach road many-a-times, I never ventured into beach. Now I felt I needed to see it.

I got up by 5:30. I took my bag to carry camera, water and purse. I planned to ride to Marina Beach from my besant nagar house. I carried purse so that I could return back in an Auto in case I did not make it. And then as I cycled to Marina, I realized that I was still good on a cycle. I reached the place quite quickly, covered most of the beach, saw children n oldies enjoying themselves, surprisingly no haseenas at all and before the sun was really out, I started back. I reached our place by 7:30 after spending some good time in beach. I just felt good, felt light is the better word. I would have enjoyed more if I had company but then it wasnt meant to be.

ps: I am officially unemploed now. Got my US Visa and Will be travelling to US on Jul 17.

Cheers!

An Innocent Thought - The Right Thought

2008-04-24T20:25:00.001+05:30

It’s a family gathering. Parents congregate and proudly parade their children. All the parents show keen interest in asking many questions to these children. It was an informal contest between the parents and winner was the best parent whose child answered the better.

So the questions were rapid and the answers quick.
Even I was asked one such question.

What do you want to become child when you grow big?
My reply was spontaneous: 'Software Engineer'

I heard many voices. 'Good', ' Shabaash!' .....

To be frank, I really did not know what to make of all the reactions but seeing my proud parents, I knew I said something good and I was also proud!

Years down the Line, Similar family gathering. Same Parents, different children. The Smaller ones in the family also had to get their chance.

I see him alone. Gathering had an ability to bring the worst out of him. He was like this kid lost between two worlds. One which only he could understand and one which everyone except him could understand. He did not know about the questions that were going to be directed at him. He was my Peter pan, my brother.

Slowly but surely, the elders in the family catch hold of him and he is asked a similar question.

'Whets up kid? What do you want to become after growing up'
Well the kid was surprised and he really saw no reason why he had to disclose his ambitions to any. He does not answer. He goes away. His parents ask him to tell anything that he wants to tell. He says he has nothing to tell.

He hears many voices. 'His brother will direct him', 'confused bacha','Shy'

The pressure of comparison would have taken a toll on him. I knew that he would have wanted to become something. I always knew what I wanted to become. In the same way I was sure that even he knew it. For me, it was just a case of him not opening up.

After many days one night, discussing about stars, I ask him the same question and he does not answer me. He takes time to open up and I knew it. After sometime, he shared his dilemma with me.

'Well brother, I am really confused. I feel sad when I cannot say what I want to become. When I see Formula 1, I want to become a Formula 1 Engineer. When I see astronauts, I want to become one of them, when I see electronics and how they work, I want to make electronics. So I am confused, I really don’t know what I want to become'

I don’t really remember what I answered but I remember telling him to improve his fundamentals, develop a nice base for as long as he wanted, 'once you have a good base, you can build as complex a building as you want' Well.. let’s not dwell much into what I told him. I talk crap and it’s regular.

Today I saw my brother scoring a good percentage in his exams, he finally showed to some that he is something. I always knew he is better than me. For, he appreciated the world around him better than I ever did. It took me long time to really explore my options and look at the world holistically, He did it when he was a little kid telling his dilemma about not being able to decide what he wanted to become. Today when I see my dilemma, I remember his thoughts and though I always loved his thought as an innocent thought, I have only realized of late that it was the right thought.

Following the Donkeys Trail....

2008-03-16T16:41:00.024+05:30

So it finally happened. After a lot of false-starts and after almost postponing it once again, we went ahead and the experience has been so big that it will be difficult to describe using words. But I am going to give it a try though...

Before you people find it difficult to comprehend what I am talking about or before you try to understand the title and before you start scolding me not understanding it, let me write this pretty quickly.... I am talking about the Walk in the Lakes. I guess this description creates more confusion. okay, let me give it another try. I am talking about THE best outdoor experience four of us had because of the greatness of one special special English man. I am talking about spending a day in a region which has the highest rainfall in England. I am talking about spending a day in glorious weather with out any rain when the only thing predicted by every met department was Rain. I am finally going to put it in a simple way. I am talking about spending a day in Lake district walking beside the lakes, walking on lush green farms, walking beside the sheep and even cows, which have the capacity to haunt you in dream (don't think why I wrote about the cows, its too complex), watching the most beautiful hidden lake that we ever saw and finally climbing with out rope to reach the summit. For people who did not come with me on the trek ( Well 'trek' is what I am actually writing about ), my description may look little hyped but the fact of the matter is every thing I am writing is the truth and I write & speak only truth.

Before I start, again a big thanks to the weather God. He/ She has indeed smiled on us that day. A Big Thanks from MANCHESTER!!!!

Again let me take some time introducing the cast. There are 4 other persons including me but the real cast is one person- Mr. Phillip Harland, He likes everyone to call him Phil, I call him Sir! (I show respect to old men, he is not that old though, he is only 49 but he looks 69! at least to few, phew!!!). He is the most charming personality I met in UK and I am sure at least two among the 4 of us, if not all, will agree to it.

Here we go....

Showing us the way.... well thats where we were going!

Don't get confused, the picture just shows the direction not the summit. In a way, this post of mine is going to be the same, it will try to make you feel the experience but the experience belonged to us:).

So on a pleasant day when the rain stopped when we started, we began our trek. Some of us were so confused that we mistook the road that leads us to the climb to the actual climb. I will not talk about the people who were confused about the place. It is Grasmere (YO YO) .Mr. Phil was obviously trying to scare us by confusing us with the route but we were too excited to be scared. So as we were moving on the road, there was a path in the farms which was made for people who were keen on avoiding the road. We took the path in the farm and excitement began for us not by seeing the sights that were waiting for us but by seeing the change in the color of the shoes we were wearing. It was time to get dirty and we were more than willing. So considering that the trek has indeed begun in my blog, lets have more of the 'WE' I will be referring to in this post.

Sir, Aditi, Praveen & Sumanth (Left 2 Right).

I know I am missing. There is a little secret of mine. I am a self sacrificing idiot and I was looking more to capture my friends than me. But I am still accused of creating a portfolio.

As we started forging ahead, lakes greeted us, the little bridges welcomed us, the sheep stared at us, the cows ignored us, the kissing gate allowed us and waterfalls invited us. We accepted the invitation and played before the waterfalls, not in it as we had just begun the journey and we had to keep ourselves warm. Of course I managed to injure my knee by slipping near the waterfalls (for people who know me, I know you will be saying 'Whats NEW') but the good thing was that it took me one full day to feel the pain. The waterfalls has an interesting name 'Sour Milk'. It was white so it was called Milk. We really could not get why it was called sour, it looked only sweet to us. As we continued our trekking, the sights beckoned on us and one such sight took our breath away...

I don't remember the name of this pristine lake. I will not disclose it even if I knew it.

It personally took me few seconds to actually recognize that it was a lake. Of course the sights I had access to could never be captured. It was as I said our experience. For a while, I thought that this Lake did not belong to any. Well it neither belonged to Land nor water & not even Sky. Of course Mr. Phil cleared the confusion by telling us that this Lake belonged to the Queen. I guess he is after all ENGLISH , a proud one too!. We of course took many photos at this location. Even I was tricked into photos by my friends and I must say, some surely belong to my portfolio.
We all agreed to one point though. It was indeed the most beautiful sight experienced by us.

Finally after spending considering amount of time at the lake, we started our trek towards the second hill that we were going to capture. Before it became difficult though, we managed to pass through some amazing places. Everything that greeted us while we were climbing were also present in this route and we had more of the lakes, bridges and also other fellow climbers.

Kabhi Kabhi Ghaas bhi Sundar Lagtha hain... You only need the eyes to see it. My Camera can only help so much...

We finally reached the point of our arduous trek and we had a sign board indicating the same. We had the option to go back to car or start trekking. We were game for trek but some time down the clock, few of us began to question their judgment. Few will be wrong and it should be one. It was not the girl and it wasn't me. It was Mr. Super Fit doubting his judgment. The second photo should help you in finding the super fit. Of course the three young turks among us were surprised seeing the speed maintained by the oldie n the girlie. All this while, we were encouraged by the great man to keep up the speed as he did not want us to miss on any sights. He was full of encouragement leading the pack

OLD IS INDEED GOLD

This was not exactly the arduous trek I was referring to. But Mr. Phil was always full of encouragement the way he is in this image.

Finally we did reach the summit. Not all of us reached the real summit, the summit on the summit but I did, so did the oldie n the girlie. The Summit on the summit refers to the 20 feet rock on the hill which we had to climb with out help of a rope:). It was difficult and I am really grateful to Phil that he helped me climb it. It feels complete. I just remembered one good song. Aditi made it special by actually listening to a Sufi Song on top of the summit on the summit. Now who says girls don't have their own way of making things special!!! 'Experience of a life time u see...'

As I Said, the oldie n the girlie were always ahead of us. Of course we were the ones showing respect.

After really struggling to get down the rock and after puncturing one of my pillows, we all started eating on the summit. There was chicken, burger, bread, omlette, drinks, chocolates and yes yes also a ketchup bottle. We carried all this in our bags. The idea of ketchup was mine and it was an instant hit. After our round of eating, we started the trek down. I was a picture of concentration during our downward journey. Its other thing that I managed to slip twice but did not get injured this time around. My concentration helped me. It was just a half slip. Finally we reached the car, thanked the weather god, packed all our stuff into the car and got into it. The rain again started falling. Now this is timing and we were so glad that we were on the right side of it.

Finally... Summarizing the whole thing : Trekking is wrecking the sane part of you, uncorking the insane part of you, triggering the adventurous part of you and anything n everything that this nonstop-nonsense in me decides to write... I know its getting boring but I am here to add Nonsense value. Indeed thats the only thing I have been doing for some time:) (Its really surprising to find what you can become when you try to become something which you are not. Okay... No complaints, there are still people who like me for what I am and I am happy!!!)

To put it simply though ( I am making a big attempt here...), Its you forgetting about everything and spending some time with nature in a way you can do by only trekking.

Coming to the title and why I have chosen it, It was to inspire all of us in choosing the shortest path while trekking. Well... the donkeys trail was supposed to be the shortest and I was the one who said it, well someone said it and I read it. But the only trail that was as disturbed as that of the donkeys was mine and I guess the next time you go there, you will know whose trail you are following... Confused, it will be my trail. Don't think much. I have even stopped writing!

Are u Shaking??? Its the Photo thats making u shake, not my writing. Could not loose out on a chance to improve my portfolio.

A Strange Day - It is indeed a Women’s day

2008-03-09T05:26:00.004+05:30

It was a team outing. It was other thing that the size of team was big (May be I should call it a battalion) and needed a coach to carry it. It’s other thing that most of the outing actually took place in the coach.

The day started pretty normal. Snoozing my alarm from 5:30 to 6:30 and then getting up and getting myself and my roomie ready before 7. We decided to wait for 15 minutes before we started because going on time is not cool, according to my roomie, and going early before everyone arrives is a sure recipe for becoming BAKRA. We slowly reached the place and were expecting every one there waiting for us but to our surprise there were only a few bakras out there and we were about to join them. We joined the pack and though I was initially annoyed seeing babies out there waiting in cold, our minds quickly realized that it was a good time to make an exit and we decided to go to one of our colleague’s house near by and have a great coffee by his wife.

We managed to board the coach in time, must say a little head of time(1 hour after the scheduled departure) and got a good seat where I & my roomie planned to have a good banter. But before we could start any, we were asked to move behind and had to sit separately with people who enjoyed in a way we did not prefer to. I knew I had only one company, the English countryside. Spent most of time appreciating the beauty, thinking of various stories I could write with the English country side as back ground, thinking of any business that is not yet explored by the clever English men. Then there was a halt and I encouraged by my creative roomie, well he is as creative as me:), started exploring our cameras. Giving various stills was funny and our cameras were good enuf to capture most of them. I am yet to upload the pics. Will send the link once I do.

Now I was energized and got a good seat also... Saw that there was a beautiful baby to entertain me and I had a really great time enjoying with her. Then we had lunch which was all crap except for one piece of GYAAN every one out there got from a responsible lady. "It’s easier to ask questions and it’s difficult to organize". I decided to shut my mouth and our on-off journey continued now in a boat. The boat journey was ok but the scenery was good and we somehow managed to relate few things out there to Titanic. Now we were tired and ready to sleep. Suddenly I remembered that it was Women’s day and I knew I had to call someone special to tell her how special she was.

I call the gorgeous lady and remind her that its Women’s day. Of course the lady knew it before me and apparently gave a treat to her male colleagues celebrating the occasion. I can’t imagine the faces of her colleagues though.... :) . I started praising her , "Today I am celebrating the most perfect woman I ever met. You have raised the bar a lot. You have made my life difficult. You are special........." I expected her to blush but the lady did not show any weakness and she started talking about the trouble her male colleagues were giving her. Well... she still remembered the topics that irked me. Of course I enter into an argument but slowly realizing that the lady has high BP decided to pacify her by telling Sorry. Being a lady, she started talking about the workload, the mental tension, the responsibilities and how she would love it if she stopped working. Of course she does not realize that the only thing that keeps her moving is her work and she would be more unhappy if she were doing nothing. The Lady, My MOM, knew that I knew all of this. I tell her a sweet good bye and end the conversation.

My MOM is my everything. She was my hitler in my childhood. She was also my genie. It’s so funny to imagine that there were very very few occasions when I had to really open my mouth and ask for anything. I always had everything I wanted before I asked for. She was my best friend after my school. She is of course the one who has the most arguments with me. I will always remember the occasion when I was boarding the train to go to chennai to start my professional life. Mommy was angry on me for deciding to work rather than doing something special (It was a shame to her that her son, the son of a proud bank manager, her special son decides to go everyone’s way. well I had other ideas then) and managed not to show any emotions during all my packing. It was after all the first time when I was going to be away from house for a long time. But when the train started, I saw her crying, tears were flowing, it took a lot of effort from my friends to pacify her. I was her best friend but still My Mom was supposed to be very strong and seeing this side of hers for the first time ever made me understand how pure the heart of mother is. If I owe my destiny to any, it’s her. My dad may have few things to say on this declaration of mine but I take this liberty being a SON. She is a sports woman, a fighter and a real leader. She exceeds all my expectations every single time and for once, I hope I exceed her expectations with my success.

This day like everyday is about to end. The myriad of emotions I experienced today makes it a little strange. Of course now a days, I have more strange days rather than normal days. Anything that’s related to women is strange and it’s really no wonder that A Women’s day, as it should, turned out to be strange day.

Ek Choti si Love Story

2008-02-15T19:56:00.009+05:30

Maggi (a 2 legged Freak, an amazing lover of pets (something he did not stop being even after getting a big kiss from a street dog), my Lovely brother) calls me ‘Brother Brother….’

I rush out with some kind of fear knowing really well that my brother does not call me unless he is doing something crazy. All my fears come alive when I see a 4 legged alien with him. It took me sometime to realize that it’s actually a cat. It’s not my mistake that I mistook it for an alien. It was just too young, it was about to Die. It was the like seeing the alien in ET taking its last breath. I stood there still not knowing what to say.

Maggi jumps into action. Searches here n there, takes money from my purse with out even asking me and goes out. I really did not stop him as after seeing him for 14 years, I understood when to take a back seat. I did not know what to do except seeing Savithri, our house maid, trying to comfort the cat. Maggi comes back with a baby bottle and starts feeding the cat. I was not sure if the cat was going to survive but I was sure about Maggi’s intentions. My parents seeing the whole drama warn me that this cat is not going to stay with us. I assure them that I hate cats and we will leave it after it becomes little healthy. I wasn’t actually sure that it will become healthy.

The next day I get up and see that Maggi got up before me. I don’t believe this ever happened until that day. He was of course valiantly trying to feed the cat and for a change the cat started responding. Maggi was proud and to be frank even I was, not proud of me, but of MaggiJ. As slowly every one left, I realized that I was going to be alone with the cat. Maggi realized it before me and had big plans for me. He gave me a schedule of feeding the cat.

I was just too lazy. I had movies to watch, games to play and friends to chat. So in stead of I moving out, I decided to bring the cat into my room. To make sure it did not move away, or fall, I placed it on my bed and blocked all its exits. 2 days passed and the cat started moving here n there. The boundaries I erected for the cat were still good enough. As days flew, I started seeing the Cat grow (Cats grow really quick). For some strange reason, the cat started drinking milk only when I gave it. Maggi did not like it but he was in love with too many street dogs and was not affected by one ditch. I was sceptical about the whole thing. I knew the cat was taking more of my time. I was waiting for it to grow so that I could leave it in wild.

One day when I was too busy playing games, I suddenly noticed that the cat was not around. The boundaries I erected for it could not stop it. It was I guess time for me to leave it out but for some strange reason, I was frightened. I searched the whole house trying to communicate with the cat, ‘meow, bow bow, my darling etc etc ‘I don’t hear it. I go out and find the gate open. I see a dog going out of the house. I run to see if the cat was around. It wasn’t and there was also no blood in the Dogs mouth. I scare the dog away. I was relieved but I was frightened. Suddenly I was scared of searching for the cat. I was worried of what I was going to find. I sat before our car and was trembling with fear.

Suddenly I saw something trying to climb on my leg and I saw the cat. I was so elated, so happy… I brought the cat back into my room. I was going to have this cat, yes this girlie thing as my first pet. I decided to search for a name. I heard my dad call me with so many names like tinku, minku, chinku that I decided to call my cat, DINKU and yes this was going to be well n truly my cat. And when I decide on something, no objections are going to change it. I announce the arrival of Dinku into our family to my parents and brother. My brother was happy for me and my parents, knowing my gigantic short temper, decided not to comment anything.

I loved eggs, omelette and I made sure Dinku loved them. It indeed could not have enough of them. I wanted my Dinku to also play with balls. Dinku was a boy according to me. I bought lot of table tennis balls and I found that Dinku did love playing with the balls. It saw the balls as a rat and started practicing its predatory instincts playing with the ball. It was indeed amazing seeing sharp nails come out of its short legs when ever it saw a ball. It was growing up.

It slept on me when I was reading novels. It moved around my monitor when I was playing games and it moved around my legs when I was eating. It was in Love with me. My mother warned me that Cats don’t love people and its sleeping on you only because you are very puffy. Somehow I knew that she was wrong. My Dinku was no ordinary cat. It was my cat.

Dinku had little trouble with identifying bathrooms and decided to use carpets or beds to answer its nature calls. My mom warned me that if its going to continue, she will leave the cat. She obviously did not comment when I took a holy bath to protect Dinku. She was left speech-less.

The Holy bath: Dinku was about to answer one of its nature calls in moms bedroom. I saw something fishy and raised it so that I can take it outside. Unfortunately answering nature calls was still involuntary with Dinku and it was in the process of ejection. With out knowing what to do, I made it eject on my shirt and took it outside. Mom saw all of this and she finally realized what Dinku meant to me. I could not find any bad smell. It was after-all my Dinku and I was responsible for everything it had to offer.

I played hide n seek with it when ever it decided to hide in the car. I played its watchman when ever it decided to roam around. I helped it learn climb the walls. I was its partner in everything it did. So did Dinku really love me? Well it did and everyone knew about it when I wasn’t around.

I had to leave my Dinku as I was going to start my professional life in a strange city.

I got regular calls from my parents informing me about Dinku’s progress. It stopped eating and its growth stopped. It was sick. After hearing 3 weeks of pain, I came back to meet Dinku. It was struggling. I bombard on my parents for not taking care of it. Even my brother could not explain how he, the famous pet lover, could not take care of it. I spent the next 3 days spending time with Dinku, making it healthy. This time around, when I was leaving, I was told by my Mom that they are trying their best to help Dinku grow but that it was not listening to any of them. If it misses you again, we are going to leave it.

After a week, I get a call informing me that my parents decided to abandon Dinku and that it was already abandoned. I asked only question, ‘What was its reaction when it came out of the gunny bag’ My dad ‘it was scared of us and ran away from us’. For a change I saw tears in my dad’s voice. I had my own tears to contend. I immediately rushed to my room and spend the best part of that day crying. I never cried so much in my life. Indeed I can feel the tears when ever I remember it.

Looking back, Dinku brought only joy into my life and I hope it is still alive n kicking. My Dinku was exactly like this and its how it played with my antics.

Blast from the Past:)

2008-01-31T16:17:00.000+05:30

Its 6 in the morning, a Monday morning:( and I am reading. I keep telling myself that its ending and that its just matter of surviving time. The 'it' I am referring to is a monster. Its amazing how sometimes seemingly simple physical structures start haunting you, they take the form of a monster and scare you to nuts. I must say that I was never scared of this monster but yeah, it was indeed a monster. The introduction of monster can wait.

I start my brand-old bike (Pulsar 150, it unfortunately looked anything like new only until it was in the showroom, dont blame me for the condition, blame the global warming, blame the pollution.... again I am deviating from the topic), pick-up my friend and vroom on the highway. One side of my brain was trying to mug-up the words that I read in the morning and the other side was telling me to maintain speed. Its indeed annoying for a guy if a girl overtakes him on a Honda activa. I am not giving any hint that someone over took me and that someone was a girl. Anyways struggling through the juggling act of my brain, I manage to reach the monster.

I managed to meet my gang, the Goa Gang (it was the name suggested by girls:):):) ). The atmosphere was pretty tense, everyone was reading, everyone was criticizing the monster and everyone was surviving time.

Coming to the identity of the monster, the monster is my engineering college and this college, encouraged by its reputation, has decided to conduct internal examinations on Monday morning. Let me not get into the details of what I & my friends think about writing an internal examination on Monday morning, every Monday morning (yes!!!). We managed to complete the exam, some managed to cheat their way and some honest fellows like me failed their way.

Later, All of us sat in the canteen and started thinking of ways of surviving time. Coming to time, our engineering days were ending and many of us with a job-offer in hand could not wait to turn pro.
When everyone came up with their own ideas of surviving time, I asked a simple question. "How are we going to survive time after our engineering? We will not even have a college to survive????"

Every one laughed at my question but I began to see that this question, albeit funny, made all of us realize that a monster also has a life and we were unfortuntely very much part of that life. When some one sees a life ending, they recollect the good things about their life and most of us managed to realize that there were pretty good things that happened in this life.

I will use this series to recollect some good things that happenned in the monsters life. I must warn before hand that I am using my memory to recollect things. My memory has the ability to fragment and these fragments with their own twisted stories is all what is present in my memory. Do comment on what you think of this adventure / misadventure of mine...:)

A Director’s take on my Personal Life.

2008-01-21T19:50:00.000+05:30

I love my life. I love every bit of it. When you love something so much as I do, you want it to be perfect. I must agree before hand that there are few not-so-perfect things that happened in my life. But the raspberry award for the best part goes to my personal life. Okay, I will be little clearer. The raspberry award for the best part goes to my attempts to get on with the opposite sex. I cannot be clearer. I am too shy.

Okay... now that the cat is out of the bag, the awful:( truth is out, let me analyse, in my own cute:) way, the great things that I have been doing. Here I go with my Director’s hat-on. I guess it’s already on. Anyway...

I am very particular about the cast in my movies. That explains the few auditions I took and also the few lucky people who managed to get through those arduous auditions. It ofcourse helps when the cast is only one person at a time. Here is where my trouble with perfection haunts me. Having made the casting a few times, I should have at least filmed one movie. Its not that I was worried about the climax, I hardly know the climax, (I guess I am one of those next generation directors who creates scripts ‘On the fly...’) But still I should have come up with some goods.

So what is the director doing with out filming the movie?
He is trying to perfect the perfection. He is trying to improve the sets, the lighting etc. My cast doesn’t actually know that a movie is being filmed. Being intelligent & sensible, they decided that nothing is happening here and went for greener pastures. I don’t even know if they gave it a thought. I mean thought about the movie that was being planned. The movie never took off...

If only my film had fewer cuts and even fewer retakes, I would have made a movie, a really beautiful movie.

Note:- The movie I was referring to in the above blog refers to the Love story I never had. I am adding this as an after thought as one of my friends made me realize that my blog has various meanings. Thanks Buddy:)
I just want to reassure my near n dear that I am still Chaithu, the good guy, the most eligible.......(Dreams again!!!).

A World of my own

2008-01-16T15:52:00.000+05:30

“Close your eyes and remember GOD…”
“Sapne Dekho, Sapne Sach hote hain…”
“I can hear the happiness in your voice…”
…
..
.
“You Made IT…”
“Chalo Boss, you finally have the keys to your treasure. I am inspired boss. I am Happy. I am proud”
“I always knew it dude…”
…
..
.
“Ur light at the end of the tunnel is not that of an oncoming train…”

“I made it and I can’t stop smiling…”
“Chalo aur EK Sapna Sach huan…”

Normalcy resumes after the frenzy of my admit celebrations.
I am finally able to catch up my thoughts. I can’t help it if these thoughts take me back to the celebrations itself.

All these statements above (though not 100% original) were said by people around me. By People who matter the most to me.
I could not cover everyone but I am happy that I had so many people vouching for me… so many who matter the most to me.

If you have read my earlier Celebrating Work Post, you will get an insight into my thinking when I decided I wanted to do something else.

This long journey till now has brought quite a change in me.
I have improved by leaps n bounds. (My Yardstick to judge my improvement is my conscience)

What has improved me?

I guess it’s the people around me.
Some were present physically, some were present in the books/ articles I was reading and some were present in the words I was memorizing.

The other day, one of my close friends, was asking me what will I feel if I notice jealousy around me. I did not give him a proper answer.
Now I have an answer. I will feel proud. Proud of me. Proud of the people around me who helped me in becoming what I am today.

Its not that I have become something great but If someone can be jealous of me, I guess I have beccome something even if it is nothing.

World is a pretty interesting place. It has so much in it that by the time you ask “What’s in it for me?” U r inevitably left with very little time.
So it’s always better to try to get the most of what you have.
You may have friends, enemies, parties, achievements, failures but you have a journey, a journey called life.

With so many things in your beautiful journey, U have a World of your own and I am proud of mine.

Just Chill!!!

2007-11-16T23:14:00.000+05:30

I am writing this post at a time when things around me are not at all certain. I even came to know that I hate Uncertainity:). SO I guess its double blow. Its at this time, seeing the fog ahead of me, that its easy to forget that I have come quite a distance, did quite a few things.

As a Kid, I loved seeing Maps and Globe. World for me is a big place and I knew that I wanted to see most of it. I dont know if its my confidence or my arrogance but I was always confident, baring few spells of madness, that I would one day see many places far far away from my sweet home. I guess I could say now that I did see quite a few places albeit in a small part of the world.

The highlight of my stay here is the Live match I saw in Old trafford. I was very very excited to see the match and I enjoyed like hell when seeing it. But Its still difficult for me to come up with words to describe the experience. The real feeling will sink in when I am back in India and I see a Manutd match sitting in a sofa in India. I guess that feeling can wait:)

I never considered myself a people-friendly guy but as days go-by, the most I miss in my life is people. I miss my family, my friends and many many other people. But interestingly I am meeting new friends, friends with whom I can spend hours talking with out getting bored. But yeah!!! you quickly realize that good friends are jewels and they are rightly hard to find and you obviously miss them.

Coming back to the uncertainity around me, I can feel the chillness inside me. The coooooool weather in London means that I feel the chillness more than ever. But looking back at the distance I have covered in this short time, I can only say to me Just Chill !!!

Chaithu in Chester , UK

2007-10-19T22:56:00.000+05:30

Here I am, in this Beautiful world, Here I am...

People would consider me a big idiot if I don't say UK is beautiful. Just look at the pictures I took, you will know why. Of course the photos were taken by me. But people who know my skills behind a camera will vouch that the photos look good inspite of me not because of me:(:(:(

Coming to UK. UK is cool and calm. The first thing I notice about the place is the amazing roads, cars and the systematic way in which people live here. I would be telling a lie if I say I wasn't bowled over initially. Its winter and when it gets cold here, its really really cold. Its so calm that people will hear you even if you are talking to yourself. The day here ends at 6:00. Expect no shops after that except Tesco and other biggies. You will find most of the roads deserted after 7. People here are also very very particular about mannerisms, I don't know if its because of their generosity or their colonial past.

After a few weeks here, UK for me crawls. Life here is so systematic that people like me who come from India really wonder whats going on. I am already missing the noise and life of India. But as long as I earn in Pounds, I will not mind :).

Expect oldies in Work place. The younger ones here are in their 30's. With no disrespect to elders, I come from a place where I was surrounded by people of my age, people who were always looking for an opportunity to overtake me. In here forget about over takings, you are supposed to hold the door for the people coming behind you. I guess even I am doing it, I hope it does not slow me down. But buddies, you will seriously not mind some of the 30's you see around you. Trust me on this. Period.

The one "Ooh la la... " thing I love about UK is football. Its the country of Manchester United. Soon I am going for a stadium tour of Manchester United. I will be in Dressing rooms, Dugouts etc etc :):):) Hold your breath!! I am going to watch Manchester United vs Middlesbrough Live on 27 October and I am going to be seated Front ROW!!!!. I may not have the best viewing angle but watching Manchester United so close and that too from front row satisifies one of my long cherished dreams. Will come up with more pictures in the coming weeks.

Tryst with Destiny???

2007-08-18T05:40:00.000+05:30

All these days I knew that BSchool Application process will be very tricky but the more I immerse myself into applications, the more I realize that its more tricky than I ever imagined it to be.

First of all, this whole process needs you to evaluate your priorities, re-examine what you have done in your life until this point ( For some people like me, there wont be much ) and what you want to do after MBA and why do you feel you can do it. Actually there are much complex questions out there but if one has good concrete answers for all these so-called easy questions, I think that’s half battle won.

SO why am I finding it so difficult to answer these easy questions?? For a start, I think these are not easy questions, at least for me. As I try to answer these questions, as I examine my priorities, I sometimes wonder whether MBA will be right for me, whether I will get what I want in my life after an MBA and so many trivial doubts that I wonder if I am the same guy who has been planning for his MBA for close to 2 years now. Even If one musters to write something that satisfies him, there is a small matter of convincing the Adcom with his answers. Because what looks great to you, on paper, may look ordinary or silly to the Adcom, who see thousands of similar essays. Its very important to critique your answers and not to fall into the trap thinking you have written great essays because "Every Mother things her child is the most beautiful ".

On top of all this, there is this small matter of competition. A US MBA is already competitive but India's phenomenal growth means that the number of Indian applicants is increasing every day and the profiles & experiences they carry are also becoming more & more impressive. Of course I have no right to comment on this as today I am thinking of an MBA because such a type of thinking is possible only today.

So the more I get involved in the application process, the more I realize that I am an Underdog. So is it time to pack off. Naa..... I have this classic Underdog mentality and as some one has said "I never expect to lose. Even when I'm the underdog, I still prepare a victory speech.” Of course I see the result of all this, the result that will bring me Joy beyond bounds, the result that will make sure that I have my Tryst with Destiny!!!

Obsession with Self

2007-07-22T07:23:00.000+05:30

I live in a world filled with obsession, obsession with self.

I live in a world where every day & every thing starts with I and every day & every thing ends with me.

I live in a world which has produced many great people, whose sacrifices/ acts are unfortunately limited to books of history and whose sacrifices/ acts are unfortunately looked at as an exception rather than deeds to be followed.

I live in a world where every good action, which is not obsessed with self, is looked at as an action used to promote some hideous desire or purpose and that a good action is just meant to act as an decoy hiding some secondary purpose associated with it.

I unfortunately live in a world where I am supposed to feel me, enjoy me, pamper me ....... and think only about me because any other thing I do is supposedly not me.

A Day to remember

2007-07-16T21:32:00.000+05:30

Jul 9, 2007 is a Day to remember and I will surely remember it as long as I can :D

My success with a standardized test is well documented. But whats not documented is the fact that I had lot of things going for me. First of all, I was wished by so many people before I wrote the test. So many of my friends who are far far away remembered the day and wished me well. Good wishes bring a lot of energy with them. On the morning of the exam, I got to know( I should have known ) that it was the birthday of a special friend and yeah this news brought with it, its own share of Feel Good factor and then my roomies, what could I say about them, they are the best and they really did not need to do anything other than what they were doing to make me feel good. So I had many things going for me but then there were other important events that took place on the day that make it so wonderful.

My roomie, Uday who got into Gatech got his F1 Visa. Though there is little sadness that one guy with whom I have become close of late is leaving, I am ecstatic to see some one living my dream, well my old dream. Off late, my dreams have changed. So what was my dream, I dreamed of studying computer science in a Top university and there are few better ones than Gatech in the whole world!!!. Of course I keep wondering how my dreams have changed but then they do. Right now I am celebrating my dear friend Uday's entry into Gatech and I hope and I am sure he will fulfill all his dreams in the Land of Opportunities.

My other roomie, SHIP, well his real name is charan, cleared his orals. He is a marine engineer who traveled lot of places, something many people will die for. But marine engineers have this stupid promotion exams where in they have to clear exams and orals to get promoted. The only difficult thing about the orals is that it depends on the whims & fancies of some person, who only decides to pass a person if he is in a good mood. Of course all orals are like this especially when they are not monitored well. I am more happy for SHIP because he is this crazy guy who really gets emotional & worried about his future. So seeing him enjoy like the way he does without any tension was cool, really cool.

When things go well, You want them to go well and I am no exception. I hope I have many such days to remember and I am positive that I will have many such days.

Life after GMAT

2007-07-16T20:50:00.000+05:30

With GMAT finally done, I can sense a feeling of confidence gripping me.

Long before I started preparing for the GMAT, I knew that GMAT was just a part of a application process and that I need many other things going for me to get into my Dream school. But there was this constant fear in me regarding my chances of getting admit in a top BSchool. With a good GMAT score, there is a slight mindset change where in, I am my concentrating more on other important aspects of my application and I know I need to concentrate and work more on them to get them right.

There are so many things I need to plan and there are so many things that I want to blog. But then there is this GMAT hang over thats preventing me from expressing myself. So for a start, I will stop writing about GMAT in my blog. I guess I have already given way too-much importance to this test and its high time, I stop thinking about a standardized test.

Done with GMAT!!!

2007-07-11T10:41:00.000+05:30

I have completed my GMAT and must say, got a pretty good score.

Score: 750 [ 49(Q), 42(V) ]

The Day before the exam, contrary to all my plans, I studied a lot. By the end of the day I was tired and I also had a little headache. Anyway I was confident that I had planned & prepared excellently for the exam and that I should do well. I was expecing a minimum of 720.

All though I managed to stay on bed until 8, I didnot get a proper sleep. Got up, took a bath, went to temple, had a big breakfast( Murugan Idli is really good ). Did little shopping ( Yeah Shopping!!!) 1 Soy Milk, 1 Cold Coffee, 1 Sneaker and 2 bananas. I planned to have Soy Milk after my AWA and COld Coffee before my Verbal and Bananas incase I ever felt hungry. Just before I left home, I quickly read Hindu editorial and felt good seeing my comprehension. Feel good factor is very important.

Kept all my belongings and reached exam by 11:30( My Exam was scheduled for 1:15). As I expected, I was asked if I was ready to take exam and there I was about to write GMAT again.

AWA:- AWA was pretty simple, it generally is, and I followed a template approach, Wrote it in 20 mins, added few examples here n there in the next 5 minutes and reviewed for grammar mistakes in next 5 minutes. I followed the same routine for Issue & argument. Expecting a good score ---Touch wood.

At the end of 1 hour, I was full of energy, managed to activate all my brain cells and was ready to take on the Real stuff. drank soy milk.

Quant:-Quant was good, The difficult part with Quant is, its easy but not as easy as is given in all the materials. This can throw many people off guard. I was expecting fairly simple questions and I guess I managed to answer all my first 20 questions right. 21st question was a probability question that was just too difficult, I guessed and it and I was wrong, Got an easy 22nd question. I performed fairly well after that but due to some illogical reasons could not answer the last question even though I knew the answer. I dont know whether it effected my Quant score.

Not discounting the last question, I was happy with my performance. Drank a cold coffee [ As I read in one of my RC passages that Coffee has ingredients that will artifically activate Brain's cells ]

Verbal:-This was it, I knew all along that it was my verbal score that will decide my fate and I was fairly confident on scoring around 40. Started in a good way, got a double bolded CR in 11th question, Which is usually a indication that I was performing well. Managed my time well. I got a really really difficult RC in Question Number 32-36. In generaly I would have struggled in such an RC but I guess on G-Day, after few nervous moments, I attacked it well and answered it well.

Was confident but really really nervous after the exam. I was so cool during exam but once I was done with it, I was too nervous to answer the survey, somehow managed to complete it and before I was to see the score, I was asked if I wanted to Report scores or Cancel them. Though I thought about it for a second, good sense prevailed, I decided to report scores and finally when I saw the score, I was Enthralled. To be frank I was more relaxed than enthralled. I Finally proved to me that I could do it and I badly needed this dose of confidence before the application process.

I wanna be Forrest

2007-05-31T12:48:00.001+05:30

The other day I was reading a blog titled "Run Forrest Run", this made me remember Forrest Gump, my favourite movie. Considering my situation right now, being in a continuous state of confusion, I began analyzing Forrest Gump in a way I have never done before [ Mind you, I have analysed him a lot ]. Seeing Forrest do amazingly funny things and seeing him achieve stardom in what ever he was doing was really funny. For me, he was an innocent guy who went about doing what ever he liked, who got really lucky and who was also one who did not even realize that he got lucky.

Forrest had a beautiful girl friend who told him to run, I don't have one nor do I intend to have one anytime soon. But I want my life to tell me to run, Run Chaithu Run!!! When Forrest decided to run, he began running with out giving a care to the world around him, He did not even realize that he had become a cult figure and that he was tracked by one n all. Even I wanna do things with out thinking about what other person thinks.

Forrest was awarded for bravery in war, he became a world champion in Table Tennis, he became a business tycoon and he remained that same old innocent "boy". How can some one just think, like I did, that he was just lucky? He was not and he cannot. He followed his heart and earnestly followed it with out questioning [With out wasting his time; take it as a case study of productivity, productivity of life ]. Now I wanna succeed in my life, for a change I wanna acknowledge my success too.

Ok, Where did Forrest get it right and where did, I and I am sure many people like me, got it wrong [I still have time to get it right though]

Maybe as I grew, I in my attempt to learn anything n everything, I learned so much about things around me that I inevitably polluted my mind. May be I should not think that "For every action there is an equal & opposite reaction", May be I should not have learnt it because from the time I learnt it, I have been inevitably thinking of the Opposite reaction rather than concentrating on action but is it correct to stop someone from leaning Newton's Laws of motion. As a science lover, I will say No.

Considering the fact that we can never have as pure a brain as Forrest had, the only the road ahead is to improve, to have a constant urge to improve, to never sit on laurels. Finally, Please don't judge ur improvement through others eyes. If Forrest had seen world through others eyes, there would not have been a Forrest Gump and I would not have even written this post.

Finally I could see myself sitting on a bench near the bus stop and keep telling something or other about my thoughts to everyone thru my blog until I catch my bus. The chances r u will get bored.

PS:- For People Who Don't know about Forrest Gump, You can see him in a movie titled Forrest Gump. You can get his DVD/CD from any good movie retailer. After watching the movie, try reading this post again, U may get something from it [ WARNING: TRYING TO GET LOGIC FROM MY POSTS IS AS DIFFICULT AS IT GETS ]

Having Fun

2007-05-25T10:53:00.000+05:30

Off late, I have been having lot of fun.

First & foremost, I got Fifa07 installed in my roomies PC and spent one full day and one or two evenings trying to get a hold of it. I was a die-hard FIFA player until fifa 2004, after that slowing PC & Work kept me away from it for a long time. I guess my passion for it has still not gone. The game is great though; it's much more realistic and much more challenging.

But things have not been great even here; Playing FIFA07 made me realise that I am no longer playing it as well as I used to; I guess I played for only one day though. Of course my joy stick keeps giving me problems and my roomies PC though adequate is not a perfect machine to play. I think I should buy a lethal laptop (Not only for games, it will be useful as a personal computer:) ) and probably an XBOX joystick to go with it. I have never been a fan of Game stations aka XBOX, PS3. May be its time for them. The only thing that's stopping me right now from going full throttle is my career. Once I get it on track, one will see more of me in games.

I have been playing Cricket 2007 also, it's a pretty easy game though. It's good for fun and I guess I had enough of cricket especially after seeing India's performance in World Cup.

Have not seen many movies recently; I did see spiderman-3 and two ridiculous Telugu movies. Spiderman-3 was boring, it was either a slow drama or a Super fast game, there was very little enjoyment in it, the second half comedy involving Tobey Maguire is funny though; Of course I told every one that I loved it as I could not imagine my roomie, who is a big batman fan, having a laugh at me. I have many to-see movies in my list: Metro, Pirates, Shrek, Jhoom Barabar Jhoom & finally Harry Potter. Now did any one say that they have not seen many movies recently? Well, I dont know.

From being some one who didn't notice girls around me, now I am seeing lot of girls ( purely seeing ). I guess "inspiring friends" around me in my office have inspired me enough to change my habits. I guess India is a beautiful country and there are many many girls around us who are beautiful and Beauty is something that should be appreciated and enjoyed and understood as a creation of God.

Finally I think having fun is funny as long as it's not affecting ur goals and ur efforts. Enjoy!!!

My Holy Grail

2007-04-12T19:25:00.000+05:30

Good things happen. One such good thing was I deciding to go to tirumala. It was a decision which took long time to happen but when it happened, it was worth it.

My decision was so sudden that I didn’t get enough time to even find a partner. So I started alone on my small journey from Chennai - Tirumala. My train from Chennai to Tirupathi was fast & pleasant. I had a good sleep. My mind was pre-occupied with seeing God and to see if I truly believed in God. It was not at all ready to experience what it did. As someone who has climbed the seven hills more than once in the past, I was looking forward to climb once again. What I didn’t realize was that I was alone this time around and that this was going to be really different. I started off like a foreigner taking photos of fellow climbers.

Half-an-hour into my walk, it all changed when I saw a man climbing with the aid of sticks - He didn’t have any legs. For every step he took, his face was filled with so much happiness, so much joy that I immediately realized how ignorant I was. I never believed in Luck and I never believed in God. God, for me, was a concept using which some discipline is instilled into a Human mind on the verge of destruction. I will never know if I am right or if I am getting carried away but I will always remember the moment I saw God. I saw the God in that man's hands, his eyes and his smile. My pity for him was gone; all I had in me was joy, Joy of seeing God. I finally kept my camera in my bag because it was where it belonged. This was journey for my eyes, my heart and I was sure that I didn’t need a camera lens to capture it.

My hugely inflated body made sure that my walk was very slow. My lack of exercise meant that I had enough cramps to sit down holding my legs. But for once in my life, I enjoyed pain- Pain was liberating. It was God's way of freeing me from the sins that I have committed. I managed to meet the lord in the shrine twice and the only thing left in me was joy. On hind-sight I am glad I was alone. I would never have experienced God, the way I did, if it was in any other way.

IT's Cats or Dogs or Donkeys or.... What ever

2006-12-06T15:41:00.000+05:30

When ever i used to hear people saying "Egg on your face", i always felt that i was on the safe side with my little assumption that i was too intelligent, too calculated to have an EGG ON MY FACE. But this is exactly what i feel after working for 15 months in India's Fastest Growing IT Company.

All this thinking is pretty different to what i thought 15 months ago when i decided that my future was in an IT Industry ( MS and M-Tech were Not-Required & MBA was Not-My-Type), after all this was the oppurtunity i was waiting for, ever-since my childhood from the first time i saw a computer, to show-case my skills, to vroom...

With out going too much into the detail, I would say that this industry surprised me, shocked me and made me realize that i can have an EGG ON MY FACE, that too after only 6 months into my job. One wonders if one needs to be an Engineer to do this kind of work. Lets not go into the work details..., On hind sight, Indian IT Industry may be isnt that bad after-all, there can be some very good career paths and may be its the height of expectation thats making the disappointment look more miserable. It can make you a Cat if you feel low, It can make you a Dog if you are lucky and it can make you a Donkey if you dont like it but must still continue it.

Indian IT Industry for all its air-conditioned offices and good pay packets is filled with many people who think exactly like me. Who see Business Analysts talking in their sophisticated accents and wonder whether MBA is their ticket to happiness, leadership and above all creative freedom, Who while working in a corporate are busy preparing for their Higher Education, Who know how to spend the money that their companies genrously pay, Who are eagerly waiting for the day when they could say ADIOS, with all the happiness they could generate. One wonders what will be the thoughts of an MBA one year into his job, i hope his are better than mine coz i would then have to be prepared for more eggs on my face.